It's just a game and then some

This past weekend, rather than going to a barbecue to kick off the unofficial start of summer, I decided to play in a chess tournament. It has been a long time since I last played in a chess tournament, but I wanted to get back into playing shape so I have a chance at winning a prize in another month. My intention is to go to Philadelphia during the July 4th weekend and play in the World Open. I needed to play this weekend to shake off the rust that had developed during my inactivity.

The tournament was only 4 games, but it took up both Saturday and Sunday. The reason is that each of the games can last for about 5 hours. That's right, each game can potentially last for up to 5 long hours. At times, 5 hours seem incredibly long for a game of chess. At other times, 5 hours seem incredibly short for a game of chess. Part of the reason why I played this weekend was not only to shake off the rust in my playing strength, but also to remind myself about how boring and tedious the games can be during a tournament. It was also to remind myself about how nerve wracking and exciting the games can be during a tournament.

Tournament level chess takes a lot out of me. It is emotionally draining. I go through many different stages during the course of a single game. At first, it is the sense of excitement as the game is about to begin. I meet my opponent for the first time and shake their hands. Before the game begins, I already start to visualize about the many possible ways a game can develop. If I am playing the white pieces, I can sort of dictate what type of positions the game will eventually develop. If I am playing the black pieces, I have to react to what type of positions my opponent wants to develop.

There is anxiety about how to proceed with the game, whether I should play this move or that move. Trying to evaluate the positions that arise a move down the road, or maybe two moves or three or even a dozen. Later there are intermittent bouts of boredom as the game meanders forward. This usually arises because the position is sort of dull and neither side can dictate the play that will result. Both sides are trying to come up with a strategy to try to win the game. Sometimes the game moves towards some familiar setup or positions that I have encountered over years of playing the game. Sometimes the setup and positions are something I have never encountered before and have to try to solve the problems over the board. There are also intermittent bouts of intense concentration when I think that either I am in trouble or my opponent is in trouble and I look closely at the position and try to figure out how best to continue the game.

In the tournament over the weekend, there was a lot of anxiety, adrenaline and what not that ran through my body. It was fun and exhilarating as well as nerve racking. It was also a good way to build up some stamina for the tournament in Philadelphia. All in all, I had a good time. The results of the games were pedestrian, but the results did not really matter. What mattered was the confidence I gained from knowing that I can still compete at a somewhat high level and that when I play in Philadelphia about a month from now, it will be playing for a chance to win something, not just playing for the sake of playing.